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Anyway, these people made it.... you can too (unless you are the aforementioned out of state driver in the RV.) |
ADDers are no easier to stereotype than any
other group of 10 to 20 million people. Within the
broad umbrella of behaviors and symptoms are varied
degrees of severity, ranging from mild to chronic.
We know that while all hyperactive people have ADD,
not all ADDers are hyperactive, or at least not
physically hyperactive (mental hyperactivity is
certainly a possibility). Many times, there are
other factors, such as obssesive-compulsive
disorder or, more commonly, depression, which
co-exist with the ADD. ADD is a neurological disorder, and therefore
invisible to others. It is often covered up in a
variety of ways. These coverups work until the mask
slips. An inappropriate remark is made. An out of
context topic enters a conversation. Or
worse. Adult ADDers who change jobs often or move
from town to town often do so because of the
negative feelings they perceive as others around
them begin to notice that they are "different". An
ADDer will enter a new job like a house afire.
Unfortunalty, he eventually has difficulty and
cannot sustain the blaze. Some hyperactive children become socially
acceptable adults who have learned to better
conceal their hyperactivity. Instead of running
around the room, they rock back and forth in their
chairs. (The ADDer is the guy who was always being
told to put ALL FOUR legs of the chair on the
floor.) Or they bounce their leg, table drum , or
any number of other "nervous habits" which may go
unnoticed at first. Even when the most commonly recognized
symptom, the fidgeting and other manifestations of
hyperactivity, is not present, the individual must
still contend with others as he tries to interact
in a socially acceptable manner. The sad reality is that the church is not
that much more accepting than the rest of the
world. And the ADDer, already well acquainted with
the feeling of rejection, can pick up on this
immediately. He wonders why this group is no
different. The group wonders why he is SO
different. Why does he DO that? Why is he so
defensive and argumentative? Simply put, he is argumentative and defensive
because he has ADD. ADD really comes down to a breakdown in the
brain's ability to filter and process information.
Even hyperactivity and impulsivity can be seen as
the brain failing to process what is appropriate,
what will be allowed, and what is not. In earlier
research several possible causes for this are
theorized, such as environmental toxins, caffeine,
food additives, and sugar. As we learn more about
ADD, it appears that these theories are being
rejected as the causes of ADD, although the
disorder may certainly be exacerbated by
environmental factors. There seems to be a strong genetic
connection, possibly in as many as 90-95 % of all
cases. Certainly, we can see cases where ADD runs
in families, but how much of that is based strictly
on genetics is unclear. It could be said that the
gene pool for the United States, or at least for
those of European descent, is loaded in favor of
ADD. This may help to explain why more cases of ADD
have been diagnosed here than in Europe. When you
consider the type of person who would be willing to
take the risk of immigrating to a new and unsettled
country, the impulsiveness of some of these
individuals, and the sense of curiosity and
adventure that one would need to survive in such an
environment, that statement begins to make a lot of
sense. Of course, it could also be said that the
dominant culture of the United States suffers from
a massive case of inattention, impulsivity, and
hyperactivity- in short, ADD. (Hallowell &
Ratey, "Answers to Distraction, Pantheon, 1994, p.
229-230) The reasons why over 10 million people have
ADD is very important to those who are interested
in research and therapy. Knowing that ADD may be
caused by such things as a deficiency in dopamine
or some other neurological chemical can help
neurologists to treat the disorder. However, for those who have ADD, the "why" is
almost a moot point. The bottom line (and we do
tend to be bottom line people) is that we have to
live with our own neurological make up. It is
impossible to list or imagine all the ways that ADD
impacts our lives. ADD has so much to do with the way we
experience the world around us that it cannot be
ignored. The ADDer, especially the undiagnosed
ADDer, doesn't realize that others around him
literally do not think as he does; he only knows
that he often feels out of place or different. At
the same time, he often is unaware, or unable to
verbalize, his unique perceptions of the world
around him. Those who wish to understand this group also
have to understand these differences. You can't
think like an ADDer anymore than an ADDer could
think like you. That doesn't mean that you can't
agree or even understand each other. It just means
that the thought processes themselves operate in
significantly different ways. ADDers are on a
different wavelength! Being able to put his life into words is one
step towards healing some of the frustration. He no
longer feels like he is all alone. Understanding
that the majority of people do not think as he does
helps the ADDer to be patient with the general
population (those unfortunate enough to not have
ADD!). Understanding that he is not alone gives the
ADDer hope. Many ADDers speak of feeling as if they
finally have found "their people" or have
experienced the feeling of "Family " for the first
time. These very rewarding and positive feelings of
acceptance, friendship and commonality that the
ADDer may be experiencing for the first time are an
important part of the healing process. Eventually, however, the ADDer must be able
to understand and interact with those of the
Non-ADD world. As much as we might wish, we can not
surround ourselves with like minded ADDers all of
the time. I mean, who would run the
meetings? Part of understanding comes through being
able to speak a common language. We need to somehow
be able to verbalize the experience of ADD.
Verbalization requires vocabulary. Often, it is
most difficult to express something as abstract and
yet as personal as the very way we tick; the manner
in which we think. Analogy is often the best we can
do. Imagine that you are going down the interstate
and you blink. Just to make the math easy, well say
that you have your eyes closed for one second. At
60 mph that comes to 88 feet of road you have
covered with your eyes closed. But its no big deal,
because you're in the middle of nowhere and no one
is around. Now think of that same situation at rush hour.
Would you dare drive for 88 feet in bumper to
bumper traffic at 60 mph with your eyes closed?
Would you try to merge into traffic? This is often how an ADDer feels. He might be
trying to listen, to focus on the conversation, but
he keeps finding himself "blinking" in and out of
focus, often missing key parts of what is being
said. This happens to many ADDers as they try to
read, watch TV, or do anything that requires
sustained attention. If this blinking happens when you're reading,
you can always go back and reread. It's a lot like
driving on the open road. No big deal. However,
when you blink during a conversation, people
consider you rude, or stupid, or inattentive. You
may try to fill in the blanks, just have something
to say that you hope will make sense. Sometimes you
get it right, sometimes you don't. You miss out not
only on spoken language, but on the little social
nuances, such as inflection and body language which
often can make all the difference in the world
about what the speaker intended. We don't take
people seriously when we should and we over react
to seemingly harmless statements, all because we
are trying our best to maneuver through high speed
traffic while our mind keeps blinking
involuntarily. This is another reason why an accurate diagnosis
by a professional is so important. There are
several serious neurological conditions which can
cause this blinking effect, including seizure
disorder. It cannot be repeated enough: Do not self
diagnose. Find out what is causing the problem
before you try to treat it. Police scanners are a favorite toy. They move
from channel to channel on their own, just like our
brain does, and they are just about the right
length for our attention span! The scanner is great because it filters out
static and goes straight to where something is
happening. It locks clearly onto just one thought
at a time, then moves on. Most people have a scanner in their brain which
does pretty much the same thing. Having once found
something to lock onto, they then can decided how
much priority to give that particular bit of
information, and then either stay tuned or move on.
The scanner is programmed to screen some
information even before it gets that far, not even
stopping for what it considers to be a low
priority. However, imagine what would happen if one day
the scanner began picking up several channels at
once, each competing for your attention. Then
suppose that it went completely crazy and no longer
filtered out all the static. How do you sort
through all of that? ADDers are keenly aware of their environment.
They see things that others people seem to
naturally screen out. How many other people will
drive through town and actually read all the
billboards, store fronts and street signs. This
becomes a problem when he is so distracted by a
billboard for the zoo that he runs a red light. In
restaurants, he overhears conversations several
tables away (assuming his hearing is capable), yet
doesn't seem to be able to hear his wife, who is
sitting just across the table. This doesn't sit
well with her. She wishes he would look at her
instead of all around the room. ADDers love malls and big cities. ADDers love
crowds. ADDers love INPUT! Even though they might love input, too much of a
good thing is no longer good. While wading through
all the information which those around him seem to
disregard, his mind appears to drift. His senses
are doing their job of gathering input very well.
He becomes distracted by things that those around
him don't even notice. The trouble is that the
scanner is receiving on too many channels at the
same time, letting too much information get
through, all competing for his immediate attention,
some canceling the others out. I was thirty years old before I realized that
not everyone had to turn the radio down if they
wanted to smell something cooking on the stove! In a recording studio a song is made by
recording each part on a separate track. This is
called multi-track recording (and was first
introduced by Buddy Holly- just thought I would
throw that in so you could impress your friends.)
The tracks are then played at the same time and
mixed down to the final version which you can buy.
Because all the tracks are of the same song, they
make sense when you play them together. The mind of an ADDer works a lot like this. They
might be "recording" (listening) on one track while
another is playing in their head. Unlike the
multi-tracks in the recording studio, which fit
together to make a complete song, these ADD tracks
don't always seem to fit together. Imagine being in
a room with several tracks, each by a different
artist doing a different song, playing at the same
time, each with something that demands your
attention. The ADDer is trying to decided which
track to listen to, and which to ignore. He is
afraid to totally ignore any of them because you
never know when one of them may have something
important or useful. In conversation, they may jump from one topic to
the next, or back and forth between topics,
depending on which track they are paying attention
to. This combination of tracks makes sense to the
ADDer who is running the studio, but not to anyone
else. ADDers hear the phrase "What are you talking
about?" a lot, almost as often as we get "The
Look". The positive side of this is that ADDers can
make connections between seemingly unrelated
subjects, like recording studios and neurological
disorders, which other people might miss. Their
conversations are full of analogies, asides, and
parenthetical information which makes them
interesting conversationalists, as long as they are
given enough leeway by those they are talking
with. In the very helpful and informative book
"Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults", Dr. Lynn
Weiss discusses the concept of "emotional
flooding". Weiss writes that the pourous system of
the ADDer instantly absorbs all that is in his
environment, in such an intense and pervasive way
that it floods the person, causing them to
overreact when compared to most people. (p. 36-37)
This is very true, and can be devastating to
relationships. Emotional flooding causes the person
to "push away the pain", be it from a person or a
situation; whether it be real or imagined. An important concept to remember when handling a
person in such an emotional state is that hurting
people hurt people. "Flooded people" are hurting,
and often are as scared of the strength of their
emotions as the people around them. The flooding
may trigger a number of responses, even the most
basic survival instinct of "fight or flight". The
flooded individual may almost go into a panic state
as he desperately tries to overcome the situation.
At this point, the ADDer is dealing with much more
than simply the situation at hand. His defense
mechanisms are in full use, fueled by memories and
expectations. He is literally fighting against the
past, present and possible future all at the same
time. He can't understand why others aren't as
upset as he- to him, they obviously "just don't get
it". In extreme cases, the reaction of the flooded
ADDer may become unpredictable and even
frightening. As he deals with emotional panic, what
little impulse control he may have had under normal
conditions soon becomes even less. Hyper-focus (see
below) comes into play as well, and the battling
ADDer becomes almost obsessed with "winning" the
argument. Flooding is not confined to just the emotions.
As I write this, I am flooding with ideas for this
book. New topics, ways to rewrite (again!) sections
I have already completed, what color the cover is
going to be, and more. There is no way I can type
fast enough to get these ideas down. Even if I were
speaking, I would not be able to speak quickly
enough to get it all out. Flooding is like
multi-tracking gone wild. Dr. Russell Barkley, a prominent expert on ADD,
states that ADDers not only deal with hyperactivity
but hyperREACTIVITY as well. In fact, according to
Dr. Barkley, more ADDers deal with this than with
the traditional hyperactivity. This hyperreactivity
causes the ADDer to be constantly churning inside,
pushing thoughts through his emotional network,
always dealing with the inner motion of nonstop
reactions to stimuli, both external and from
within. (Russell Barkely, cited in Driven to
Distraction, p. 178) This contributes greatly to
the "flooding" of the ADDer. While the emotional flooding described by Weiss
subjects the ADDer to all that is in his
environment, this "Multi-track flooding" of ideas
comes from within. And, while you can exit a room
or end a conversation, making any kind of easy exit
from this internal flood is difficult. ADDers will
often go to bed physically exhausted, yet unable to
shut off the ideas and get to sleep. He feels
pulled apart, torn between the need for sleep and
the unrelenting march which demands he goes on.
ADDers will typically stay awake until they
literally are about to drop. Our bodies seem at times to work out compromises
with our brains. I have laid in bed knowing that my
body was asleep. My eyes are closed, I cannot move
my limbs, my respiration is that of a sleeping
person, and yet that my mind is running at full
speed. These are not dream states, nor am I manic.
My physiology simply cannot keep up with my
neurology. I have heard other ADDers describe
similar states of "sleep". At first glance, this high volume of ideas and
information would appear to be helpful to a writer.
But please remember that our little ADD addled
brains have an extremely difficult time
prioritizing information. There seems to be a
snowballing effect. Once the flooding begins, it
isn't very selective. What could be a blessing of a
high level of ideas and energy instead becomes a
draining struggle to maintain focus through an ever
thickening cloud of thoughts. Even relevant ideas
become a distraction, as the fear of losing
something before getting it down increases. Many times, this mental hyperactivity will
result in little or no productive work at all. Like
some desperate Midwesterner trying to save the farm
by bailing the Mississippi River one bucket at a
time, the brain becomes so overwhelmed by the sheer
volume of data that the system just gives up, shuts
down, and goes to the kitchen for something to
drink. Which is what I'm going to do right now! Most people think in a fairly linear fashion,
moving from point A to point B and so on.
Conversations tend to progress along these lines. A
linear thinker like this will naturally prioritize
thoughts by how far they are removed from a given
point. If we are discussing "A", then "B" is
obviously more closely related than "D". Radial thinkers do not have this linear pattern
of organization. Imagine a group of concentric
circles with a series of spokes, or radials, going
out from the center. In this arrangement, point
"A", the center, might be as close to point "B" as
it is to point "X", or "Y" or for that matter "Z".
Linear thinkers are in for a real roller coaster
ride as they try to keep track of topics covered
and how they relate back to what was being
discussed in the first place. For the ADDer,
probably all of the topics seem to be related. Then, to further inflame the situation, the
ADDer will stop right in the middle and say
something profound like "What were we talking
about?" Radial thinking, like multi-tracking, can result
in some very creative problem solving skills. We
tend to see everything as part of a greater whole,
we tend to overlook details and see "big pictures".
By making connections that others might miss, the
ADDer can make great contributions to his job and
his church. If only he doesn't drive everyone crazy
in the process. If a linear (I refuse to use the word "normal")
thinker were to try and keep up with a conversation
between two or three radial thinkers, he would have
a very good idea of what the "blinking" sensation
described above feels like. He would feel "dazed
and confused". Thomas Edison probably had ADD, although we'll
never know for sure because ADD isn't found in the
DNA and Edison himself isn't currently giving
interviews. We do know that he didn't sleep much.
His use of cocaine is well documented. (Cocaine,
incidentally, behaves in the body much like some of
the medications used to treat ADD. However, people
who attempt to self- medicate using street drugs
end up with many more problems than they had to
begin with.) When people think of Edison, they don't think of
ADD, or sleep disorders, or of cocaine use. They
think of his accomplishments. They think of the
positive results of his ability to focus
exclusively on what he was doing. Whether they know
it or not, they think about Hyper-focus. Imagine yourself adrift in a stormy sea. What is
the one think you want more than anything? Unless
you are an ADDer who really enjoys high risk
behaviors, you would probably be praying for some
kind of port, or anchor, or something to attach
yourself to. An ADDer craves to have focus. Because our
neurology has put us adrift and out of control, we
seek something to tie ourselves to. This is why, on
those occasions when we do achieve sustained focus,
we get so irritable when we get interrupted. We
live in a world of mental butterflies, all
appealing, all in motion. When we finally do catch
one, we want to hang on to it. Sometimes, you feel
like crying because somebody just comes along and
smashes your butterfly! So it is with hyper-focus. Catching a butterfly,
achieving and maintaining focus, is a precious
moment. I want to cherish that feeling, to gorge
myself on it. I am a much happier person at these
times. It becomes all I want to do. My job, my family
and my health all become secondary considerations,
if they are even considered at all. My family, however, does not share this state of
focused bliss. My wife cannot understand why I come
to bed at 1 a.m. and get up at 5, or 4, in the
morning. My children can't appreciate that I can't
go out to play. This presents a problem. The joy
that I find in these times is diminished by the
realization that I am disappointing those around
me. Once again, ADD snatches defeat from the jaws
of victory! The real down side of this condition is the
emotional crash that comes when the project is
over. Often there is a deep depression as everyone
is congratulating a job well done. The joy that
others find in accomplishment is diminished for the
ADDer by the pain of the realization that its back
to the butterfly field. Again, the family is
effected. Mom and the kids want to go celebrate.
"Dad's back! What ever was so important is
finished! Hurray for Dad!" Meanwhile, Dad is
mourning his loss. Hyper-focus is one of the confusing paradoxes
(paradoxi?- does that sound like twin Dachshunds?)
of ADD. While the individual exhibits a true lack
of focus most of the time, scanning and blinking
his way through conversations and work, he is fully
capable of "Hyper- focus" at other times. (I have a home music studio where I write and
record a lot of music. I have averaged as little as
two hours of sleep per night for weeks at a time as
I have become more and more involved in various
projects.) This really infuriates uninformed teachers,
spouses, and others, and can turn even a .positive
effort into a negative experience. How many
students have heard "I knew you could do it if you
really tried." Why not just stop at "I knew you
could do it!"? Or "I wish you would work this hard
on everything" Trust me. The ADDer wishes he could,
too. Or the ever popular "If you would work like
this all the time you wouldn't have so many
problems." (Like I'm so stupid that I don't already
know that.) The list goes on and on. My personal
favorite is "You just need more discipline!" Feeling literally trapped, the ADDer experiences
as much condemnation for completing a task as he
does for walking away.
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